I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
