Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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