I am puke
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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