I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Please don't give away my fajitas
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
