Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just threw up on my dentist
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
