Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
