He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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