there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
