We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we're so committed to being not committed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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