I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
