Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
