As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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