I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
smell my finger.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
