i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
