I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
