No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
