And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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