I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
