Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
