If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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