Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Screwed.edu
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize