There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
last night I used snow as a chaser
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
