She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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