I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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