do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
