Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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