wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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