The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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