tell your sister to shave her snatch
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
