Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize