he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize