We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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