:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
