There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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