She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
