I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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