Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The adults are the big ones right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
