The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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