: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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