ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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