Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
