I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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