Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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