Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
