chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize