Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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