Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I supernannyed him into submission
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
