is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
