I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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