You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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