hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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