am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
