Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just cut my nipple shaving
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
