Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
