I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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