dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
