Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
this hospital has no fireball
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
