haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
